It hit me last night that patterns have occurred in my dating life. One major pattern I noticed was that when I meet someone with whom I have a great connection, I dive in headfirst with my blinders on immediately. I can’t see the forest for the trees and I lose all objectivity. What usually happens is a relationship then fizzles, and I’m left with my heart in ruins because either I pushed too hard too fast or my blinders got ripped off and I was seeing things horribly clear.
Time for a change.
I explained to Striker about this pattern I’m seeing and felt the need to put on the brakes a bit and take a step back. We talked through things and he was so sweet and understanding. Honestly, he was probably a bit relieved. I know I was. We haven’t made plans to see each other but we did text a little today, so that’s good.
Now…since I need to divide my attention, I’ve realized the downsides of putting all my eggs in one basket. First, there’s the fizzle. That’s definitely where things are already headed. Secondly, when the guy isn’t available, I start wondering what he’s doing or why he doesn’t want to spend time with me. Finally, I don’t leave myself open to the possibility of another great guy showing up and blowing the other(s) out of the water.
So…having said that, I’ve decided to date around while still seeing Striker. I haven’t seen him since our “date” last Wednesday, so apparently he has other things going on too. This Thursday, I’m going to be celebrating the 41st birthday with a guy I saw a few times last December. I did the same thing with him, and when he realized he was up to his eyeballs in my fucking eggs, HE put on the brakes. I now TOTALLY get it! We’ve been in contact and he is aware that I’ve been seeing Striker too. He’s fine with that.
The thing is with him, we’ll call him Collin, is that from the first time we met, our chemistry was INSANE! I’m not sure what it is about him but we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Additionally, he ranks up there as one of the best kissers I’ve met. Holy SHITBALLS it’s good! So, he’s going to help me by letting me help him celebrate his birthday later this week.
Once I made this decision, I immediately felt better. I’ve put way too much pressure on myself with Striker, and it’s time to actually have some fun! I’m sure that eventually one beaux will stand out of the crowd, but until then, it’s time to divide and conquer!