To say I’m confused about my current dating situation would be an understatement. Part of me knows that I should end it, but part of me is curious to see how things might progress in case it gets better. Is exclusivity something that is understood nowadays or do you actually have to declare it? Am I “allowed” to see someone else, even get physical with them, given the declaration hasn’t happened? Maybe I’m too much of a nice person not to do that when I REALLY want to. Ugh! Dating drives me nuts!
My current guy, let’s call him Striker, has been unavailable since Thursday due to having family in for his parents’ 50th anniversary. I already described most of the disastrous Valentine’s “date” we went on in my previous post, so I’ve been prepared to fly solo for the foreseeable future. One thing about Striker is that he is in two different bowling leagues. He’s very good, but he also has slipped disks in his back, so it probably isn’t the best pastime. Regardless, I figured having family in this week would give his back a bit of a break from bowling since his leagues usually play on Monday and Friday and his family arrived on Thursday.
Turns out that last night he went bowling after his family dinner. WTF?!?! I had invited him to join me and some friends tonight for some karaoke, to which he said it sounded fun but that he wouldn’t be able to attend. This was prior to his family coming in. So now, here I sit, wondering if I’m lower on the priority list than bowling and saving his back is. I’ve backed off quite a bit, and it seems as if either he has as well or he just is very engaged with his family. That’s great and all, but then why couldn’t he be engaged in our conversation on our Valentine’s “date” on Wednesday?!
FUCK! I need to turn my brain off!!! What I really need is someone to distract me from all this. My head and heart already know that I’ll be okay should this end, which I’m figuring it will, but with me starting my new job on Wednesday and all the shit I’m going to deal with in regards to training, an hour long commute (minimum) one way, figuring out when I can work out, etc., I’m just a bit overwhelmed. Again, that’s why some exhausting sex would really help right now! Hell…I’ll settle for a hug and snuggles.