Every so often I meet someone online with whom I have a great connection. There’s witty banter, sweet “just because” texts, obvious intelligence, and even his voice has that manly tone I just love. Right after my divorce, this would get me all flustered because I figured I’d finally met THE one. I’d get so excited to finally meet him in person. The time would come for us to come face to face and then…
BOOM! No attraction! Shit!
What’s even worse is when you meet in person and they are obviously attracted but you aren’t. How do you not lead them on? How do you let them down easily without hurting them too badly? I know for many people this is cut and dry. No attraction…done! It’s as if it was a business deal.
Anyone who says dating is easy is completely delusional. It’s frustrating. It’s heartbreaking. It’s a constant learning process of trying to figure out what you like and don’t like and what you will and won’t settle for in a relationship. You spend so much time getting to know someone via text or actually speaking on the phone (aka – going “old school”), and then you find out that doesn’t translate to the 3D version of dating.
I imagine sometimes that dating is like being fitted for a suit. You see one you think looks nice, and you think, “Sure! It’ll fit!” You soon realize that there’s a lot of tailoring that needs to be done and you wonder if you are really up for that many alterations to get it just right. The truth is, the right “suit” shouldn’t need alterations. Instead, we should realize that one size doesn’t fit all. It takes time to figure out what your style is, but once you do, the challenge is to find one that closely resembles the style you already prefer.