Distractions are everywhere. I seem to be failing at finding my focus. Hell, it took me forever just to sit down and actually write something. The year seems to be flying by, and I feel like I’m losing at whatever “game” I’m playing right now.
The dating game sucks. Chuck Woolery, you can kiss my ass! Why can’t I seem to meet someone who I’m both attracted to and who is available? Why is this so damn difficult?! September will be three years since my divorce. THREE YEARS!!! I am no closer to finding love or even a boyfriend…male friend…screw it…someone to do something with on a regular basis who I find attractive than I was when my divorce was final. I’m trying my best not to live in the past, but it keeps rearing its head and I find myself sad, lonely, and frustrated.
I am in a constant struggle with my weight. Sure, I’ve had that issue my whole life, but lately I find I’m eating nothing remotely nutritious and the scale seems to be creeping up every time I stupidly decide to get on one voluntarily or HAVE to when my doctor’s office makes me during a checkup. I have GOT to get focused on this. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin anymore and am slowly outgrowing my clothes. It is time to get back to basics. I need to cut out sugar and get back on my detox/clean-eating diet. I have a sneaking suspicion that once I do, the majority of weight I’ve put on will drop off. After all, it’s 90% WHAT you eat and 10% exercise…and maybe 30% having sex on a regular basis. Who knows…I hate math!
What do you do when you need to find your center again? Maybe I’m just bored and frustrated with my life. Maybe it’s a delicate scale…the dating side will go up when the weight side goes down. Maybe I need to find something new to do. Shit, maybe I need an actual vacation. I haven’t had one in over two years. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Guess it’s time I put up or shut up.