What are the odds?

I didn’t buy a lottery ticket tonight.  Sure, I know that the jackpot is an ungodly amount of money, but I know that the likelihood of me winning is slim to none…and slim just left.  To be honest, I’m not much of a gambler.  I’ll admit that I’ve played my share of poker and penny slots.  I’ve even made the mistake of betting my brother that I knew when Mount Saint Helens erupted (I was 2 days off in case you’re wondering).  For the most part however, I’d much prefer to keep my money and spend it on pretty things rather than throw it away on a snowball’s chance in hell.  The thing is, with gambling, the odds are always stacked against you.  Not my idea of a good time.  Now, having said that, I have recently decided to gamble on something where the outcome could go one of two ways.  I’ve recently met someone and I’ve decided to roll the dice and see what happens.

The circumstances surrounding how we met are a little complicated, but nonetheless we hit it off and by the end of the night we were walking along hand in hand.  Aside from a kiss…well, a light peck goodnight, that is all that’s happened so far.  As I mentioned, this is a little complicated, so going into this the odds were not in his favor thanks to a third person and her insane shenanigans.  This wasn’t how I expected to start things up with someone nor is it something I am rushing into.  Despite my sexcapades with my other guys, I have told him that I want to take things slowly.  I believe my exact words were “I didn’t think that a turtle’s pace would be slow enough.”  He knows nothing about my “fan club” and I intend to keep it that way.  I at least have one thing going for me that will help keep things on the slow and steady – he lives three hours away.  He actually doesn’t live too far from my parents’ house, but I’m not planning a trip up there anytime soon.  This is only because I have been up there for the last 3 out of 4 weeks and I’m REALLY tired of driving.  Besides, he’s already mentioned wanting to come visit me.

He’s really the complete opposite of my ex.  He’s not too much taller than me in heels.  He’s got quite a few tattoos.  He works on Harley’s for a living.  He’s divorced and has a 13-year-old son who he adores.  Additionally, he’s a smoker.  That’s one thing I’m having trouble with, but I keep telling myself that I’m not marrying him.  I’m dating him…sort of…slowly…very very very very slowly.

I feel stronger now.  I feel like I’m more in control of my emotions.  It felt really good to hold his hand and feel wanted.  Wanted, that is, by someone who is actually single and available…someone who doesn’t have to hide our relationship.  We walked down the street together and I wasn’t worried who might see us and get word back to his wife or girlfriend.  I wasn’t worried that I might get caught by my hubby and then face the firing squad.  It was okay that we were together.  Another guy we had hung out with earlier that evening had even noticed a spark between us, so I guess it was a bit obvious.

I know my track record isn’t too good when it comes to keeping my feelings in check, but I’m betting that the Shenanigans of Insanity (which oddly enough are close to the Cliffs of Insanity) won’t deter us from exploring this relationship.  I know that slow and steady wins the race, so I’m hoping that my horse pays out well.