Friends are an incredible thing! What amazes me about them is how you can fall out of touch for months or years and then see each other and pick up right where you left off as if no time has passed. This has always been the case for Lynn and me. We met way back in college after she and my husband started working together. She was newly single and since we had been hanging out with my husband’s cousin we decided that the four of us should spend some time together. To make a long story short, they have now been married for 12 years and have two sons. Of course the bonus to all this is that now the woman who I met way back when is family!! Recently she came into town for work and so the three of us – me, her, and my husband – met for dinner and drinks downtown one night.
From the time we picked her up there was not a lull in the conversation until the point during the meal where she mentioned that she and her husband were in couples counseling. At that point, my husband and I got quiet because we didn’t want to push the issue. We figured if she wanted to talk about it more she would. So a few comments later, she finally said, “WOW! I mention couples counseling and you don’t say anything.” We looked at her with understanding eyes and said that we just didn’t want to pry. We talked for a bit, there were some tears shed, and we all agreed that maybe there’s something to be said for being married as long as we all have.
We left the restaurant and headed over to a bar to have some drinks and continue our conversation. We found a spot in a parking lot across from where we were headed and, because it was downtown, had to pay to park. While we were waiting for my husband to get back from paying for the spot, and while he was at least 50 yards away, Lynn turned to me and asked me if our marriage issues had anything to do with another person. HOLY SHIT!!! I felt a sigh of relief and told her that it actually had to do with three different people. That was all we had a chance to say before my husband rejoined us, but we both knew we had MUCH to discuss. Lynn and I crossed the street, hand-in-hand, and walked into the bar.
While my husband was getting our drinks – I talked her into having a beer – she and I talked quickly about what our circumstances were because we knew there wasn’t much time before it would be the three of us again. It turns out we have a lot in common with our individual situations. While her dilemma only involves one man other than her husband, we found that we’re having the same feelings of loneliness, frustration, guilt, depression…and the list goes on and on!! I haven’t been drinking beer all that long, but I can assure you that drinking one with someone who can identify with everything you’ve been going through over the last six months makes it that much more of a comforting experience.
We were able to get in a few more snippets of details and compared notes while it was temporarily just the two of us. I’ve never been one to feel the need to go in pairs to the bathroom, but we took full advantage of our “alone” time to further discuss our conundrum. We both felt that it was finally nice to have someone to talk to about everything who provided no chance of our husbands feeling jealous since the person isn’t a guy. We had a few more drinks and finally dropped her back off at her hotel.
It’s been a few weeks since our reunion and classified confessions, but we’ve been able to talk, text, and email each other every day since then. When I don’t think anyone will understand why I’m feeling the way I do or why I’m doing the things I do, from a woman’s perspective, all I have to do is ask Lynn and I know she understands. We’re not sure what lies in store for either of us, but we both feel better knowing that this unexpected confidant we’ve found in each other is something we’ve both needed. Like I said earlier, friends are an interesting and amazing thing, and I am grateful for each and every one!